paravanes:meditations

I am beginning to insulate myself from the endless Christmas advertising and promotions that are bombarding me with increasing frequency and ferocity here at the turn of the month. I no longer want to listen to the local "Christmas carols 24/7" radio station. I have not lost my love for the Charlie Brown Christmas special, but I am teetering on the brink. A few weeks ago, I met a friend for coffee at Starbucks . The handwritten chalkboard listing of "Coffees of the Day" included the "Chrismas Blend." I gently mentioned the missing "t" in Christmas to a barista. She cheerily replied, "I guess I was too busy when I wrote it and I'm too busy to change it now!" I am seriously seeking ways to turn off the hurry. I have a new Christmas recipe for 2007: 1) One gift per recipient under my tree. Let's do some "smart shopping" after Christmas when everything is on sale. 2) Attendance at a Christmas Eve service with hymns and

Over last week's Thanksgiving dinner, I shared with a good friend (we're both women of faith) some of my recent experiences in dealing with my ex-spouse. She shared some similar tales and I told her what I think a lot of it means. God uses the trials in our lives to carve the negativity, improper pride, weaknesses, lack of faith, etc. out of us. Our personal challenge is to allow this process to follow its course and do its work in us. I don't mean we respond passively to whatever may be thrown our way. We may, in fact, have to engage in battle ( Psalm 144:1 ). Or, we may have to wait for the winds to blow over. Or, we may have to let die some part of us which no longer serves any eternal purpose. During this "process", my job is to remind myself (moment by moment, if necessary) how much God loves me as I experience the carving and refining ( Romans 8:38-39 ). Last night, another good friend (also a woman of faith) left me a voice mail message stating her mother

Jesus Christ is my rescuer. Why does He rescue me? He rescues me because He loves me. In His love, He looks upon me with favor, compassion, and a desire to see me grow and express my skills, gifts, and abilities. Each day, when I leave home or even before I leave home, I remind myself: "His banner over me is love." (Song of Solomon 2:4). I am a member of His party, His cohort, His camp. I carry His banner. His banner over me is love. His love is affirming, but challenging. His love is deep enough to save me from the pit, from the "valley experiences" of life. His love is also persistent enough to keep pushing me to the next level, even when I don't want to go. When I begin to feel content or too comfortable with the quality and features of my life, I know Jesus will begin prompting me to get ready to move to the next level. His prompts become increasingly stronger and louder, as necessary. It is the love of Christ that never leaves us where we are, no matter how

I have spent a lot of the past few weeks reading and re-reading bell hooks ' Sisters of the Yam: Black Women and Self-Recovery . I've been working with a copy from the public library, but I need to purchase a copy for myself. This title is one of hooks' earlier works and her chapters on addiction, loss, work, and beauty are masterful. Her chapter on love, however, speaks most deeply to me and captures the energy that makes everything else about our "recovery" important. Near the opening of the "Living to Love" chapter, hooks writes: "Many black women feel that we live lives in which there is little or no love. This is one of our private truths that is rarely a subject for public discussion. To name this reality evokes such intense pain that black women can rarely talk about it fully with one another." Before you, dear reader, say that lots of people live without love, please remember hooks is writing about the capacity of black women to recove