paravanes:meditations

We forget so quickly that we are God’s beloved children and allow the many curses of our world to darken our hearts. Therefore we have to be reminded of our belovedness and remind others of theirs.”—Henri Nouwen As much as I love this quote, I notice the author uses the word “darken” to suggest something wrong, inferior, and undesirable. In many cultures of the world, dark skin is not seen as a desirable or naturally beautiful feature in women and girls. The legacy of dark skin in the United States is a particularly tragic one, in which girls and women who have dark skin and are of African descent (especially those whose ancestors were enslaved in early American history) are devalued, ridiculed, or socially rejected and economically disadvantaged because of their skin color. As we are now rolling away from Black History Month in the States, I am considering the question someone posed: does God love dark skinned women less than other women? “… we have to be reminded of...

"Jerusalem, Jerusalem, you who kill the prophets and stone those sent to you, how often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, and you were not willing." -- Luke 13:34 --Image from beholdhim.org Have you noticed the most broken and wounded persons sometimes show the most anger, resistance to change, and hostility? Have you noticed they are often the most resistant to making even the small changes that would create more positivity in their lives? Have you observed their unwillingness to know something new, for fear of being disappointed-- again ? You have seen what Jesus saw when He wept over Jerusalem. His response to all of the rebellion, grief, pain, and anger was pity. He saw more in those who were lost than they could see in themselves. These lost souls refused to see another vision of themselves, refused healing and love from His open arms. Because Jesus forces Himself on no one, He wep...

Making my way through a parental alienation forum recently, I came across a very intelligent and well thought out discussion of when a targeted parent should end their legal battles in response to the alienating tactics of the “other parent.” I have some experience with parental alienation and thought about what the author of the post said.  In a few words, her comments can be summed up this way: the “good guys” don’t always win. It’s unnatural and deeply wounding  for an ex, or someone else, to disrupt or destroy a once loving relationship between a parent and a child. If you have been the victim of this, your first thought may have been “it’s impossible, and what I think is happening isn’t really happening.” The recognition of reality leads to lengthy and sometimes expensive legal battles, emotional, mental, and spiritual exhaustion, and a cycle of recrimination and anger that can go on for years. In the meantime, your child is caught in the middle of somethin...