paravanes:meditations

  (c) Deborah Evans If you are unfamiliar with the term "Black femicide", read the article referenced below to understand what it is and why it is a public health crisis: Black Femicide: A Silent Public Health Crisis  -- from advancingkids.org Femicide is defined as an intentional killing with a gender related motivation. Why is this a crisis in the Black community? In 2022, The Guardian (UK)  reported the rate of death by homicide for Black women increased by 33% in 2020 over the previous year.. In 2020, an average of five Black women per day were murdered in the United States.(FBI statistics) Recent reports do not show a reversal of this trend. Read this Washington Post article about the lack of traction this issue has received. Most of these murders were connected to domestic, family related violence. Victims included spouses, partners, mothers, grandmothers, aunts, sisters, co-parents, ex-wives, former girlfriends, women who rejected unwanted suitors. The vast major...

I got flowers today! It wasn’t my birthday or any other special day. We had our first argument last night. And he said a lot of cruel things that really hurt. I know he is sorry and didn’t mean to say the things he said, Because he sent me flowers today. I got flowers today! It wasn’t our anniversary or any other special day. Last night he threw me into a wall and then started choking me. It seemed like a nightmare, But you wake up from nightmares to find they aren’t real.   I got flowers today! It wasn’t Valentine’s Day or any other special day. Make- up and long sleeves didn’t hide the cuts and bruises this time. I know he’s sorry because he sent me flowers today. I got flowers today! And it wasn’t Mother’s Day or any other special day. Last night he beat me again, and it was much worse than all the other times. If I leave him now, what will I do? How will I take care of the kids? What abo...

Teens abusing parents may be considered a “final frontier” in the battle against domestic violence. I am not referring to what is sometimes called “elder abuse”, the situation in which seniors are abused by their adult children or caregivers (paid, family, or volunteer). I am referring to the increasingly common situation in which teenagers mistreat their parents, usually behind closed doors, in the home. The abuse behaviors include: hitting, name-calling, destruction of property—or instilling the fear that property will be destroyed if the teen does not get their way, stealing from the parents, hurting family pets, misuse of credit cards or other personal/financial information, disregard, dismissal, and disrespect not only of the parent’s authority, but of the parent as a person. These behaviors do not constitute regular teenage rebellion. I am not sure if there really is such a thing as “regular teenage rebellion.” Abuse, however, goes far beyond what is typically consid...

Please plan now to wear red on Wednesday, October 31, 2007 . Red is my favorite color and I have never considered it a color associated with "looseness" or the willingness to be loud. Red (for me) represents energy, love, passion, and almost every other emotion that makes life worth living. I've told my friends that when or if I get married again, the color red will be in my wedding dress. I remember shopping with my mother and older sister when I was a child. I'd watch them pull dresses from the racks in the stores and pronounce some colors "too loud" to wear. It seems that red and yellow were always the "too loud" ones. When I grew up, I decided red looked beautiful with my brown skin as a background. One of my favorite summer dresses is a yellow floral. When I'm wearing red on October 31st, I hope I'll have the chance to tell someone why. I hope I'll have the chance to remind someone that too much violence is directed against women...