paravanes:meditations

  (c) Deborah Evans According to a 2022 CBS News report, the average person tells four lies each day . This survey report suggests lying has become a natural  and habitual way of life for many people. Rather than simply condemning this habit -- a habit most people acknowledge as "wrong", or "less than best"--I thought it would be more useful to list the rules of lying. Rule 1: Deny actions and experiences that may require the telling of a lie at a later point in time. Rule 2: Remind yourself of Rule 1 each day. Rule 3:  Remember the average person tells four lies each day and take this into account during your conversations and contacts. It is likely you are being lied to regularly. Rule 4:  Self-examine on why lies often appear an easier "out" than telling the truth. Rule 5:  Self-examine on what type of relationship you have with a person you regularly lies to or tell lies about. Habits are hard to break, but the breaking begins when you refuse to lie t...

No, I'm not watching the Tyre Nichols video. For those not living in the States: Tyre Nichols was a young African American man who died from injuries he suffered after being beaten, pepper sprayed, and tazed by five police officers in Memphis, Tennessee. His encounter with the officers began during a traffic stop. The five officers who assaulted him now face murder and other charges. News reports stated the video of this attack was so deeply and violently brutal that children and other vulnerable person's should not watch it. My initial reaction to that report was to acknowledge I am not a child and also to acknowledge I am a vulnerable person. We are all vulnerable persons. I accepted I am vulnerable to experiencing the trauma on display in the video. I accepted Tricia Hersey's (the Nap Bishop on Instagram) definition of the video as "trauma porn": a second hand experience making us think we can experience something we can't personally know, but s...

 For those wanting to know, there are two important lessons to be learned from what's publicly known about the Shanquella Robinson story. If you're not familiar with her story, google her name. Some commentators have suggested Shanquella was betrayed by friends. Others have suggested Shanquella did not properly vet those presenting themselves as friends. Regardless of the accuracy of these observations, I'm offering a few life lessons highlighted by her story. First: everyone you spend time with doesn't have to be considered or trusted as a "friend. " It's perfectly ok to consider and accept some people as associates or acquaintances. You interact differently based on the nature of your relationship. You can have mutual help, enjoyment, and support from folks who are acquaintances, associates, or friends. These different relationships have different boundaries and ground rules. As long as you accept, honor, and respect these differences, you'll probabl...

We believe we love the truth because we've all been injured by, as one writer said, "lies and the lying liars who tell them." Take this true-or-false test  to measure your commitment to truth. 1. Sometimes, it's better and easier on everyone to tell just a small lie. 2.  Concealing the truth isn't the same as speaking a falsehood or a non-truth. 3.  My life is such a mess. I can't afford the luxury of total honesty. 4.  The truth usually hurts more than it helps because most people can't handle the truth. 5.  I told a lie about a situation. My only option is to keep lying to defend my original lie and protect my reputation. God understands. Lord God, show us the path of truth and all of the benefits and freedoms of being honest with ourselves and others. Give us the courage to seek reality, honesty, and truth. Amen.

When someone genuinely likes you, they do not nit-pick and endlessly scrutinize every little thing you say or do. I really learned this today and hope someone else will benefit from reading these words. Lent is a time of revelation.

Can you evaluate your own spiritual progress, the state of your own heart and spirit? Do you need feedback from someone else to know where you stand? Outside input is often helpful, but there are things you can do on your own In Matthew 12:34 (NIV), Jesus says: "You brood of vipers, how can you who are evil say anything good? For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks." The Apostle Paul wrote the Christians in Corinth that they should examine themselves. How do we test ourselves? What going on in my heart? Jesus said out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks. How often do I catch myself "overflowing" with these types of statements: "I knew it wouldn't work out." "This is too much!" "I'm sick to death of (him, her, this, etc...)" "I owe, I owe, so off to work I go." "As soon as we save a little money, some disaster comes along and sweeps away our savings." "These kids...

From Micah 6:11-16: “Shall I acquit the man with wicked scales and with a bag of deceitful weights? Your rich men are full of violence; your inhabitants speak lies, and their tongue is deceitful in their month. Therefore I strike you with a grevious blow, making you desolate because of your sins. You shall eat, but not be satisfied, and there shall be hunger within you; You shall put away, but not preserve, and what you preserve I will give to the sword. You shall sow, but not reap; you shall tread olives, but not anoint yourselves with oil; You shall tread grapes, but not drink wine. For you have kept the statutes of Omri, and all the works of the house of Ahab; and you have walked in their counsels, that I may make you a desolation, and your inhabitants a hissing; so shall you bear the scorn of my people.” If you have read the Old Testament, you will recognize the names of Omri and Ahab as kings who disrespected and disregarded God’s rules and guide...

Many wisdom teachers of many ages have taught their students this: "you cannot impose your personal standards of behavior on others." Jesus encouraged His disciples to "be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves." You can read many variations of this statement from Matthew 10:16 here . As I interact with others who may or may not share my world view -- and that is their right, by the way --,  I must keep Jesus' directive in mind. When I keep His directive in mind, I never react foolishly or thoughtlessly because someone does something I would never do. Besides, it's a challenge to say what I would "never do." How can I know this? Also,  no other person is under any obligation to do things my way. Only I am responsible to my own values. It is also my responsibility to be aware that others act from their knowledge, their priorities, and their perspectives. I can be a person of honesty and integrity in the middle of all of this. I can re...