Lessons from the Shanquella Robinson Story

 For those wanting to know, there are two important lessons to be learned from what's publicly known about the Shanquella Robinson story.

If you're not familiar with her story, google her name.

Some commentators have suggested Shanquella was betrayed by friends. Others have suggested Shanquella did not properly vet those presenting themselves as friends.

Regardless of the accuracy of these observations, I'm offering a few life lessons highlighted by her story.

First: everyone you spend time with doesn't have to be considered or trusted as a "friend. " It's perfectly ok to consider and accept some people as associates or acquaintances. You interact differently based on the nature of your relationship. You can have mutual help, enjoyment, and support from folks who are acquaintances, associates, or friends. These different relationships have different boundaries and ground rules. As long as you accept, honor, and respect these differences, you'll probably be safe and sound.

 Second: certain shared experiences should be reserved for true friends. Among those are 1. traveling outside of the country (including Mexico and the Caribbean) and 2. traveling into wild or remote locations for outdoor recreation such as camping, hunting, hiking, etc.

These two types of experiences may seem quite different but have this in common: the ground rules have changed or their are no enforceable ground rules.These are not situations in which you explore or define a relationship. These are situations you venture into only with a proven friend whose judgment, commitment, and intelligence you respect. 

I sincerely hope for justice for Shanquella. No painful event or experience should be left without a lesson learned. Be kind to many, but carefully vet anyone you hold in your inner circle and call friend. As my mother told me many times: "Watch what someone does before you call them 'friend.' If they do it with you, they'll do it to you."