Does God Love Dark Skinned Women and Girls?

We forget so quickly that we are God’s beloved children and allow the many curses of our world to darken our hearts. Therefore we have to be reminded of our belovedness and remind others of theirs.”—Henri Nouwen

As much as I love this quote, I notice the author uses the word “darken” to suggest something wrong, inferior, and undesirable.

In many cultures of the world, dark skin is not seen as a desirable or naturally beautiful feature in women and girls. The legacy of dark skin in the United States is a particularly tragic one, in which girls and women who have dark skin and are of African descent (especially those whose ancestors were enslaved in early American history) are devalued, ridiculed, or socially rejected and economically disadvantaged because of their skin color.

As we are now rolling away from Black History Month in the States, I am considering the question someone posed: does God love dark skinned women less than other women?

“…we have to be reminded of our belovedness and remind others of theirs.” –Nouwen

Although I am a firm believer in positive thinking and high expectations, I don’t think these ways of being and thinking will always cancel the negativity others try to drop on us because of our skin color.

I consider myself a dark skinned woman. I tan (get darker), not burn, in the summer sun. But I enjoy gardening, hiking, and other summer outdoor activities and refuse to abandon them. In a group picture, no matter the ethnic/racial backgrounds of the people I am pictured with, it’s easy to find me because I am usually among the darkest persons in the group.

I grew up hearing the sing-song phrase “If you’re white, you’re alright; if you’re brown, stick around; if you’re yellow, you’re mellow; if you’re black, get back.”

Despite all of this, I didn’t fall—not for very long, anyway—into the thinking that says “God loves you less, God won’t lead you to a great life, you have to accept the leftovers and crumbs falling from someone’s table, you’re not beautiful, you won’t find a good husband—or any kind of husband, you won’t get a good job, you won’t be invited into certain social circles.

These limitations have not been a part of my life story, but I understand why many believe their skin color and the reactions of others to that color has limited, shut down, or diminished their options for a good life.

How to cancel these thoughts when they show up at your door of your mind and of your spirit?

If you are a Christ follower, remember one of the first things He calls us to do is to renew our minds. Being a Christ follower won’t work if you don’t do this.  In Romans 12:2, St. Paul, a follower and teacher of The Christ-ian Way, explains the necessity of not conforming to the patterns of this present world and of renewing the mind. Renew your mind with God’s thoughts of you, not with the thoughts the current culture attempts to impose. The freedom of Christianity is that you can powerfully and permanently renew your mind to work in harmony with God’s thoughts.

As you live the “renewed mind life”, your focus moves away from copying the habits and thoughts of others. This is very important, because the current culture comes up with many reasons for all women to feel inferior. If it’s not skin color, it’s weight (you’re too heavy or too skinny). If it’s not weight, it’s marital status or singleness. If it’s not marital status or singleness, it’s having children or not having children. If it’s not having children or not having children, it’s social connections. The list is endless. Without a renewed mind, it’s very likely you will spend too much of your life chasing something on that list.

Am I saying ambition is bad? No. I am saying “be ambitious for the things God calls you to do.”

I think it could be very helpful to know and understand some elements of history.

If you believe the Bible, you know the Genesis account explains how the physical bodies of Adam and Eve were formed from the soil. Knowing this, you realize our first parents no doubt had dark skin, like the color of the Earth they were formed from.  If you keep reading, you know how God shut down Moses’ siblings when they spoke against him in resentment when Moses married a “Cushite” (Black) woman. There are many examples throughout scripture that demonstrate God loves all people equally and also hates injustice and prejudice.

So, what will you—and I—do with all of this?

1.       Accept that some people won’t like you because in you they see something they either are envious of or resent. You can’t fix that. If you see it, move away from it. It may take time and effort, but move away from it because these types of negativity usually are fixed, or are not changeable by you.

2.       On a daily basis –perhaps first thing in the morning and last thing at night—reinforce n your own mind that you are a beloved creation of God. It is more important for you to tell yourself this than it is for you to tell this to others. Remember, you are renewing your mind. You are not trying to renew another person’s mind. Practice these thoughts by saying them aloud each day: “I was lovingly created by God for good and great things.” “God is good and gives only good things.” “As I follow, God leads me to what is best for me; I trust God’s judgment.”  “God sees me and smiles. I see myself and smile. I cancel the negativity others drop on me.”

3.       The Christ-ian Way is always an invitation to live beyond the tired thinking of human tradition. Yes, certain biases and prejudices are deeply ingrained into many cultures in the United States and also around the world. Colorism is not a uniquely American prejudice. As a Christ follower, you are called to review and reject the thoughts that contradict what God says about who you are and about how valuable you are. This is the life of faith. When you do this, God opens spaces, opportunities, and relationships that support your renewed mind. A renewed mind leads to a renewed life experience.

4.       Finally, we are called to live miraculous lives. This doesn’t mean going from crisis to crisis, expecting supernatural events to override our foolishness or intentional failings.  We are called to live the life that demonstrates God’s love, power, and care. If society tells you that you’re ugly and inferior and you reject that thinking and replace that thinking with God’s thoughts of  you, you will become the ultimate witness to the truth of the gospel.  Remember, witnesses tell what they have experienced. Witnesses don’t repeat what someone else has told them. That’s called hearsay and is not a reliable source of information, nor is it accepted as legal evidence in the courts.

If you are struggling with issues related to your skin color as a dark skinned woman (or girl), I hope this has been helpful to you. It may take a while to cancel the conditioning you’ve experienced. It won’t go away unless you begin to renew your mind. Begin now. Now means today.

Also, I am aware some individuals have been hurt, ostracized, or rejected (particularly in some African-American communities in the U.S.) because those individuals have pale or very light skin. That’s not my experience, so I have decided not to address it. Obviously, any kind of bias or prejudice based on skin color contradicts God’s thoughts of who we all are as beloved ones of God.

It’s time to renew!