paravanes:meditations

How many times has this happened? I set a well-reasoned, thoughtfully considered goal. I ask God to guide me to the correct outcome (the one I have in mind, of course). I ask a trusted friend for help or rely upon a stable resource for support. What emerges is the opposite of what I'd hoped for, or something worse. Emotionally, this feels like rejection. I suppose it is. I am slowly learning to understand what looks like rejection, tastes like rejection, and sounds like rejection is often divine direction masquerading in an ugly outfit. So much of pop psychology and self-help theology (can there be such a thing?) condition us to believe we should have what we have thoughtfully and prayerfully requested. Besides, aren't there Bible verses to support this outlook? Matthew 7:7-11 says: 7"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. 8 For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will b...

I met spoken word artist Cherrie Amour a few weeks ago and she was kind enough to give me a copy of her CD, Love's Journey: Spoken Songs . The third piece on the recording, "Six Figures", made me think and re-think about how we choose someone to love. Growing up in a conservative church, I recall no lessons in Sunday School or Vacation Bible School about how to choose someone to love. Perhaps the implication of this was that the girls could not afford to be choosy and would accept the earliest or best offer (of marriage, that is) that came along. As it turned out, many of us decided to be choosy. Some of us were right-choosy and some of us were wrong-choosy. Some of us were in-the-middle choosy. As someone said to me recently, it is unclear how effective our choosiness was in helping us find happiness. But we found what we found. Considering that marriages in the Biblical era were prearranged by family elders, the holy book is nearly silent on the self-selection dating a...

I have, on the wall space over my desk, a National Geographic map of the world. It's a physical map, displaying Earth's geology and geography without regard for political boundaries. I take a slow look at this map whenever I need to put myself, my problems, or my concerns in perspective. I am occupying a little bit of time in a little bit of space. If I really need to put things in perspective, I find photos of deep space. Looking at those images never fails to refocus my understanding of who is running the cosmos, including the little bit of space I am currently occupying. I was saddened and truly sorrowful when I learned of Tim Russert's passing. I was a huge fan of his program, Meet the Press . In the days before the show offered a netcast, I was late for church a few Sundays when I couldn't tear myself away from the program. Tim Russert and Meet the Press were two of my last remaining reasons to watch network television. I admire excellence. Although Meet the Pres...

Father's Day has been a special day for me for as long as I can remember. My father passed on (or up, over, etc.) six years ago. In one of my journals, I've kept (and often referred to) one of his sermon outlines from 1990. The topic of the sermon is decision making. Although my father taught me a well-known and time-tried method of decision making --draw a line down the middle of a sheet of paper and list all of the pros and cons--I realize true and honest decision making involves intangibles that cannot always be reduced to words in columns on paper. There is an intuitive, spiritual dimension to the choices we make and the consequences that follow. I know for sure I don't dare make a major decision without prayer and waiting and listening. It is possible to be certain of God's leading if we ask, wait, and listen. The asking is easy, the waiting is hard, the listening is transformative. Here's the sermon from 1990: “Decisions Determine Destinies” Rev. T...

I have, for some time, been curious about those who post extensive comments on newspaper or news reporting sites. Are they contributing to a true conversation, or are they simply expressing the lack of something productive to occupy their in-between moments? Last week, I read Rochelle Riley's column in the Detroit Free Press . Here, she profiled Karen Farmer's personal coaching consultancy, Midlife's A Trip . Farmer, a former corporate attorney, is a certified lifestyle coach who assists clients in navigating the touchy and sometimes treacherous waters of midlife. I am actively working my way into this transition, and thought I might find something useful on the site's blog. The highlight of Riley's column wasn't Farmer's bio or blog. The highlight was the single comment I found at the bottom of the screen. The comment's author, identified only by a screen name consisting of a jingle-jangle assortment of letters and numbers, gave a cutting, somewhat ...

I'd planned something else for today's post. Instead I'm asking readers to follow the link in the title and make a statement in support of elections without political murder as a "flavor of the month." View Liz Trotta's on-air comments here: Mike Huckabee's "joke" (at a National Rifle Association meeting) about Barack Obama getting shot, Hiliary's reference to the political murder (I hate the word assassination; it's too clean and clinical) of Bobby Kennedy in 1968, and finally Liz Trotta's comment on Fox News suggesting that Barack Obama and Osama Bin Laden should "both be shot" tell me that something deeply and personally ugly has come up for air in this campaign. Regardless of your political position, my hope is you will sign the petition in the title link because you don't want elections to be determined by murder or the fear of murder. Regardless of how politically conservative or liberal you may be, you understand...

Sometimes an unsought gift drops into your lap. This happened to me earlier this week when I received an email about Jerry White's new book, I Will Not Be Broken . This is not a traditional self-help book. Developed from the author's experience as the survivor of a landmine explosion, Jerry White draws on the life stories of others who have faced and overcome large, life-altering experiences (LAEs). Only in retrospect can we say something is a "tragedy." An LAE becomes a tragedy based on our responses to that experience. After reading White's five steps to overcoming, I realized there is no middle ground in recovery and reclaiming. Either you forever live as a shadow of your former self, or you emerge to become greater, more lovingly creative, and stronger. If you think you're on the middle ground, you're in shadow land. Perhaps this is what the Apostle Paul referred to when he asserted "...in all these things, we are more than conquerors..." (Ro...